3 steps to forming new habits that stick

 

Have you ever wondered “Why didn’t I do what I said I wanted to do? Why can’t I lose weight or why can’t I wake up earlier in the morning?”

 

I’m sure everyone has set goals for themselves at some point in their lives, big or small, it’s something we desire or want to achieve to be happier, healthier, prettier, more fulfilled…

 

Throughout my fertility journey, there were so many things I wanted to achieve in order to maximise my chances of conceiving. But it became too overwhelming when I was trying to get everything done at the same time. Until I learned that doing less is more.

 

It takes about 14 to 21 days to form a habit of medium complexity like making your bed every morning or eating more veggies every day. And about an average of 66 days for a new habit to become automatic.

 

Doing one thing at a time, and making it a habit before introducing new things into my routine made it easier to manage, and it didn’t’ feel like I needed to be intentional to do so many things in a day. Habits I have formed became a natural part of my life.

 

How to form a new habit?

These 3 steps helped me make healthier habits part of my lifestyle.

 

Step 1 – Determining the “WHY”

 

First think about WHY you want to do this, why is it important to you or how can the result of this new habit have a positive impact in your life?

This not only helps you to be determined but also sets as a reminder when you start feeling lazy or feel like giving up. Knowing why you want this can help push you on a little further.

 

Step 2 – Planning your “How”

 

Then, think of a system (how to) that will help form this new habit. The system here means the process you will take to help you commit to the journey of achieving your “why”.

 

Try imagining yourself doing that new habit and possible challenges that may come in your way. Most of the time temptations, laziness or feeling that it’s troublesome gets in the way. Make the system (or a way) that prepares you to perform the habit without leaving much space for excuses or second thoughts.

 

Step 3 – Being Persistent

 

Building habits at the beginning is always challenging, but once you have it then it’s easy and becomes automatic.

 

Persistence requires some discipline and determination. This is especially crucial for the formative period (first 14 days at least) of your new habit. You’ll need to make up your mind and persist until it becomes automatic and easy. And you may even feel uncomfortable if you did not do it.

 

Here are some ways that can help make it easier to be persistent:

 

ü  ✔ Take baby steps – don’t set an impossible habit like waking up at 6am to run 10km every morning if you never exercise in the mornings.

 

ü  ✔ Don’t break the chain – think of your new habit as a chain, each day you perform the new habit adds on to that chain. This will help keep you motivated to continue so as not to break that chain and have all your prior days effort wasted.

 

ü  ✔ Create accountability – let your family & friends know that you are forming this new habit (social media is a good way too). This not only makes you more conscious to stick to it to prove your will power and determination, people who really care for you can be an encouragement when you feel like giving up or need some motivation.

 

If you still feel like giving up, remember your “WHY” and hopefully you can get back on track and achieve your goal of forming that new habit.

 

So, let me give you a real life example using the 3 steps above:

 

New habit I want to form - Exercise for at least 30 minutes 5 times a week.

(I have not exercised for years, I didn’t have the time nor stamina to do a workout.)

 

Step 1 - Why

Why is this important to me? - I want to get pregnant and exercise will help keep me healthy, reduce my stress levels, improve blood circulation, balance hormones and so on….

 

Step 2 – How (System)

I set out my gym clothes the night before, once I return home from work, I change into my gym clothes and get ready for a workout.

 

*Having the gym clothes set out and visible makes it easier for me to reach for them, instead of reaching for my ‘house clothes’, then sit on the sofa watching tv. Changing into my sports attire leaves me no excuse to be lazy and skip exercise for the day.

 

Step 3 – Persist (by taking Baby steps)

Starting with just 4 minutes of super simple workout routine every weekday, then over the period of a few months slowly increasing to 7 minutes, 15 minutes, and so on…

A year later, I’m doing an hour workout on most days without feeling the dread nor excuse of having no time.

 

Remember to form one new habit at a time. Don’t rush it. Trying to form multiple habits at the same time will not only overwhelm you but makes it easier to give up all the new habits that you are working on if you broke one of it.

Try applying the above 3 steps to forming new habits, and this also applies to breaking old bad habits like stop eating junk food or reducing screen time before bed…

Lastly, reward yourself and celebrate the small wins. Treat yourself to something that won’t break your habit. An occasional cheat day is great, just be conscious not to be having cheat days too often otherwise you may find yourself back in the old days before starting your new habit.

 

What is the one habit that you’ll start to form right now? I’d love to hear about it 😊

 

If you are trying to conceive and looking to improve your wellness and fertility, check out my other blog posts and pick one thing you would like to incorporate into your routine to form a new habit today!

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